Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

I had run out of hope.

Why can't the ISS take a picture of Earth and prove to the Flat Earth Society that Earth is not really flat?

Be who you already are.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

You are like me, then.

Why is it after eating almonds when I’m occupied, I don’t feel mild itch, but as soon as I have nothing to do, I feel mildly itchy?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

The sadness was still there.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

United-JetBlue Tie Up Leaves American Airlines Bloodied - Live and Let's Fly

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Five differences between Pilates and yoga you need to know before deciding which is right for you, according to a certified teacher - Fit&Well

I was tired of fighting.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Beware: There’s a new Trump-RFK Jr. epidemic brewing - NJ.com

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

And the sadness?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Measles vaccination rates drop after COVID-19 pandemic in counties across the US - AP News

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s here now, writing to you.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Meta – yep, Facebook Meta – is now a defense contractor - theregister.com

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

What is the Abu Shusha massacre in Palestine?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

I was tired of trying and failing.

It’s still here.

Do all armies have the same rank structure?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.